The Other Side of the Story

So the last couple of posts involved being thankful.

However, there is another side of the story. Honestly, right now is also a time of significant struggle - personal demons, cynicism, and frustration. It is a time of desert-wandering, of aridity, of thirst.

In the past couple of weeks, I have discovered that loyalties, alternate ideas, and apparent successes do not necessarily result in dividends. From a personal stand-point, my "old" defense mechanisms are coming back into play.

Why? I don't really know exactly.

Yesterday, though, I had the opportunity to hit the pavement for a farm run. The farm run is, well, a run to the farm - conveniently around lunch-time. So I run for 4.76 miles, eat some lunch, let lunch settle, and run back 4.76 miles to my house. Just a few blocks into the run, an acquaintance walked out into his yard. Suddenly, thoughts from summer biking and running started to come back. Thoughts of being closer to the surroundings, to being out in the world. So I shifted into reverse and stopped to talk for a few minutes... just the normal "how was your Thanksgiving?" Then all of the sudden I remembered a picture of the guy in the Bremen Enquirer and said congrats about that. It was pretty cool how the words just came out of no where. This happened at the grocery store on Friday afternoon, too. I was picking up items to make BIG sandwich and soup. I passed by a different acquaintance. About two months ago, I had been out on another long run and had seen this person taking senior pictures of her son out in the yard. So I had stopped at the time and talked with them for a few minutes. So on Friday, I turned around and asked about the pictures. They turned out great. The really interesting thing was that we passed again in the grocery store and she asked about swimming (because evidently she sees me running back and forth from school) so we talked again.

Well, I guess that in the midst of this desert-wandering, one possibility would be to withdraw, to retreat. However, the noted experiences are not-so-subtle reminders that the better alternative is to go out, to advance.

Later!