Tuesday

Well, I'm up a bit past my normal weeknight bed-time. But I'm really okay with that and plan on changing it up tomorrow a bit and sleeping in a little. Today has been more than an interesting today. It was a complicated day filled with a lot of emotions, anxieties, questions, frustrations, and fears. I felt completely overwhelmed and even withdrew from the class that started tonight only to unwithdraw a few hours later. Ultimately, I decided to call my mom for advice and quickly things started to come into perspective. One of her questions: Have you been praying? Honestly, not enough and, of course, the age-old excuse of not being able to come up with words to pray passed from my mouth. "What about listening?" she asked. Listening.

So tonight Dr. Shavey starts class with a devotion and the first verse he shares:

⁴Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:4)

or from the message

^2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

Tonight, things make so much more sense in many ways and I'm so thankful for my conversations with Mom and later with Jenn. I'm also thankful for the tests and challenges, the doubts and fears, that surrounded me today. I'm hoping that this has been a baby step on the path of spiritual maturity.