Monday, May 18, 2009

On Shin Splints and Risks

Recently, I have been dealing with some shin splints. After doing some research, I think they actually started on a recent trip. I was eager to get some running in but did not know the area so headed to the treadmill at the hotel. Unfortunately, it was not a very good treadmill and the speed adjustment didn't work right. So I'm pretty sure that this change in surface and the speed changes contributed to the shin splints. After getting some advice, I've been icing my shins and popping some ibuprofen. This morning, I was thinking about shin splints. In a weird way, I'm actually kind of thankful for them. Why? Well, this year, I set a goal to run a 1/2 marathon. For me, this is stepping out of the box. But stepping out of the box can be risky. Actually, stepping out of the box is risky and opens up the door to failure, to pain.

This past week, I realized something. I had just withdrawn from a class (only to unwithdraw a few hours later). I had withdrawn from the class because everything just seemed too overwhelming. Yet, the second I pressed "submit," I knew something was wrong. I enjoy being a student. I enjoy learning. Why the heck would it make sense to withdraw? This led to some further self-evaluation and it dawned on me that I have changed a lot in recent months - in ways that I'm not proud of - in my role at Copperfield. Now, I get defensive and angry. The moment I click my card key at the door, this numbing sensation pervades my very being. I even started to forget one of the things that gives me energy - school and learning.

Well, yesterday, it was time to step out of the box and try to describe this to my boss. I was a bit nervous to hear his response. But much to my surprise he thanked me for talking about it. Remarkably, he even said that it is very likely others are having similar experiences and that we need to continue a dialogue regarding this issue. Wow, this is not what I anticipated but it will be interesting to see what happens. Regardless, it was right to be honest. It was right to take the risk. It was right to step out of the box.

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