Fun at the Fair

So tonight, I had my final for economics. I have missed zero points so far this semester so I wasn't overly concerned. For the first time in my academic career, I took the exam and was the first to walk out the class. My first priority was to get on the phone with Jenn and we talked all the way back to Bremen - except the call dropped about 3 times. Upon arriving in Bremen, I was pleased to see that the parade was still going strong. Seeing Ben's bike missing, I took off to find him and ended up talking with Jim and Jan. We eventually all went down to the fair. Honestly, the fair is something that I have started to enjoy again. It is amazing that we live in a small town and yet rarely see so many people. So the fair is just a great time to run into people and talk with them. Of course, the corn dog, corn on the cob, and elephant ear with blueberry topping are pretty tasty.

Take care,

Todd

The Simple Things in Life

Lately, I have been learning to truly enjoy the simple things in life. Lately, one of my favorite things to do is to drink a cup of French pressed coffee with Jenn. We also recently had a wonderful time flying kite. I am so thankful for these opportunities.

Tonight, I was sitting at the dining room table and heard sounds of the marching band coming across the field. Jenn has talked about how she enjoys hearing the bands practicing at the college. I also enjoy hearing the music drift across the school yard from the high school. Tonight, I was surprised by the volume of the band. Even though they are still a pretty small group (this is only the second year of marching band following a several year hiatus), their dynamics and ability to achieve an impressive volume are awesome. The sounds of the fight song stirred up some pretty fond memories of marching band at Bremen and St. Joe. (Interestingly enough, two college first-year students started band at St. Joe ten years ago this August. That is pretty hard to believe!) I just had this amazing compulsion to go over to the track in order to better hear and see the band. Later, I had the opportunity to talk with the director and am so pleased by his enthusiasm and his restoration of the band program.

Take care,

Todd

Wow

Well, looking back I see that the last post was on Wednesday. I didn't quite realize the tremendous adventure that would ensue after this last post. So much has happened in the last few days and I have much to reflect upon and share. However, the most important event over the last few days is that she said "yes."

Last Thursday, while sitting in the Syracuse airport, this strange sensation came over me and I realized that the next day, Friday, I would propose to Jenn. Believe me, this was not in the plan. Actually, I had picked out another day later in July and was just starting to get things together. However, the pieces had come together too perfectly.

Earlier in the week, Jenn had offered to come up to Bremen for the weekend instead of me going to Rensselaer. She offered to bring food for the grill if I would do the grilling. She also asked if it would be okay to bring her dog, Gus. I said that would all be great but that I needed to mow the church yard and would be home about 6.

So while sitting in the airport, it occurred to me that Jenn would certainly not suspect Friday night - after all she was bringing the food and Gus would provide a bit of distraction. The plan quickly came together.

On my way home from O'hare, I stopped off at Jenn's parents' house and had the big discussion with them. On Friday at lunch, I took off on a quick shopping spree and picked up a tablecloth, silverware, wine glasses, cloth napkins, stereo player, and flowers. Back at work, the anticipation was killing me and I could not wait until 5. At 4:58, I made a mad dash out to the car and picked up my canopy from Lois. At home, the canopy went up along with lights. I set the table with the St. Joe china and glasses, wine glasses, our picture, and candle. The music featured a CD that Jenn had burned recently and sent. I also set out some more candles and pulled out one of the bottles of wine that made the trip back from Germany.

When Jenn arrived, she was a bit distracted by Gus and just kind of said something about me being busy. Down-playing things a bit, I just said that I wanted to do something special since she had brought the food. So we proceeded to grill and enjoy a wonderful dinner. However, I wasn't sure how to make the next move. Jenn came to the rescue. She brought some pineapple for me to grill. After taking the pineapple off the grill, I asked if she wanted to try roasted marshmallow on the pineapple. She said sure so I took off into the house, changed into different clothes, grabbed the flowers and ring and marshmallows.

Jenn was playing with Gus when I came back out. I said that she might want to sit down. On one knee, I stumbled out a proposal. With tears streaming down both our faces, she said, "Yes."

phone charger and trust

Last night, I got home from class (the last one before the final!) and finished packing for today's journey to Oswego. This is certainly a time of many changes both professionally and personally. Today and tomorrow, I'll be focusing on learning the products and machines that will be transferring to our Bremen facility as Oswego closes down. As I was packing, I ran through the list of items in my head, jeans, shirt, socks, toothbrush, ... charger cord.

Charger cord.

Where in the heck is the charger for my cell phone? Ben can attest that for the next 1/2 hour I scrambled around the house trying to find the charger cord.

Why? Well, the battery on the phone is not fully charged and the Oswego plant zaps the battery. All I could think about was getting into a bind out in New York and my phone being dead. So I guess the cell phone (and charger) kind of provide a sense of security. I remember quite vividly being at the Syracuse airport in December during a blizzard and using the cell phone to talk to the travel agent, my boss, the travel agent... you get the point.

Eventually, though, I realized that the charger was not going to be found and the opportunity for a reasonable sleep was rapidly fading. (It was already 11:00 and my 5:00 AM depart time was rapidly approaching.)

So I took a deep breath, turned off the phone (to save the battery), went to bed, and slept.

This morning, when I got to the plant to pick up the car, I reached into my computer bag and pulled out the phone charger.

Honestly, I don't remember putting the charger in the bag and I had just carried the bag into the house before starting to look for the charger. So I must have walked in the door with the bag, seen the charger, and immediatley put into the bag without even thinking about it or... well, who knows?

Take care,

Todd

A Drive

Today, I had the opportunity drive around northwest Indiana for about 4 hours. I had a half day and was on a mission. The day far surpassed my expectations. I'm going to spare you the details other than to say that sometimes it is necessary to step out, to open doors, to take a drive. After stopping for a McDouble, small fry, and an iced vanilla latte, I was ready for the journey. About 40 miles into the trip, a light bulb came on in my head. Past events started to connect. Future possibilities started to become endless. My hand reached for the phone and I started making some calls. Sure enough, the calls that I made affirmed my light bulb moment. Later in the afternoon, I made another discoverey. Somewhere along the journey over the last several years, my confidence level had drained significantly. Yet hearing a few simple words from a near stranger boosted my confidence level. I have been really trying to reflect over the last few weeks on God offering a wellspring of opportunities. Now, I'm really starting to believe in the possibility of these opportunities.

Circles

Last night, I had kind of welcome message on my answering machine. Greg called to say that he and Mark were not running this morning. Consequently, I slept in some this morning and that was nice for a change of pace. However, by about 9:00, it was time to get moving and go for a bike ride. My journey led me south on Fir to 12B, through Bourbon, to County Line Road and back towards Bremen. Over on County Line Road, I barely missed hitting a mouse. This mouse was a sad little thing running in a near perfect circle over and and over again. I'm not sure what it was doing other than running in circles. It was actually pretty sad. Inevitably it will encounter its demise and be plastered to the road only to be rinsed away by the rains and returned back to the earth. Writing this now, it dawned on me that riding bike is also similar in some ways to this mouse. You have to start and end in the same place - usually anyway. Maybe it is not quite so bleak as the mouse, though, because one can improve endurance, stamina - you get the point.

At any rate, I was reminded of a point that Jim brings up pretty regularly:

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I also thought about how often I find myself running around in circles - "fixing" things for the third, fourth, fifth times, trying to find my keys or sunglasses, letting anxieties and frustrations cycle back through time and and time again.

Yet, Jesus offers this seemingly simple way out of these circles:

"Come, follow me." (Matthew 4:19a)

Peace,

Todd

Let's Go Fly a Kite

A few weeks ago, I went with Jenn and her family to see Mary Poppins at the Cadillac Theatre in Chicago. Ever since, I have had Mary Poppins songs in my hand - one of them being the title of this post. In addition, the hobby store here in town has had a sign for kites. So I've really wanted to fly a kite for a few weeks now. Today, Jenn and I went out to the farm for lunch and then we came back into town to find a kite. Unfortunately, the hobby store was closed so we went down to Family Dollar and found a $4 Spiderman kite. I was pretty convinced that we wouldn't have enough string so we headed to Ace and found kite string. We came back to the house and went over to the old ball field across the road and starting flying the kite. The wind was acting kind of strange because it would be quite gusty and then almost no wind at all. So we took turns trying to get it up in the air. Just when we thought we had it, the wind would stop and the kite would dive back to the ground. Finally, we ended up getting the kite up a good height and payed off the entire spool of kite string. We sang a little bit and then just like that the kite took a dive and ended up in the fence by the football field. We ended salvaging the kite and most of the string.

Later, I thought more about flying kite and it kind of reminded me about life. The journey is certainly filled with a lot of highs and lows. Some days we really are soaring to the highest heights, but the reality of it is we live in a broken world. With this brokenness can some some pretty serious nose dives. I guess in my life, these highs and lows are most clear in my work (perhaps incorrectly translated in my mind as purpose). My expectations are often way too high for me and for others. Of course, this often leads to disappointment and frustration. At work, I also have profound desires to improve, communicate, meet goals, and positively impact others. Of course, these desires can also lead to disappointments and frustrations. Finally, I just struggle with something so deep - a longing to make a difference in the world. At its worst, all this leads to incredible feelings of doubt - almost a sort of numbness.

In all of this, it is incredibly hard to distinguish between self-talk, God's voice, the voices of friends, emotions, and logical thinking. My hope is that prayer and reflection on scripture will help to clear out some of the clutter squelching God's voice.