A Blessing or a Curse

I know some people who are extremely organized. Some people have a place for everything. One of my friends even has his garage completely organized. This amazes me.

I am not one of these people.

I'm just not wired that way.

The strange thing is that I know how to organize things and have done this for various projects at work - dies, cabinets, even tools for operators. However, I have absolutely no interest in maintaining the organizational scheme once it is set up.

Since purchasing the house, I have been on a purging mission. However, trips to New York and school interrupted this mission. This afternoon, I hit it hard again for a few hours - organizing files and cleaning in one of the closets. While working in the closet, I was just baffled by the randomness. I really don't know what is going through my head or how things end up where they end up. Above you will see some pictures to demonstrate the point.

The first picture is of various items that were piled together on a top shelf.

A blue sweater vest

Finger nail clippers

Discolored wire samples from when I was working in Lafayette

A broken umbrella

A paper entitled "Controlled Reactions on a Copper Surface"

Sheet music for Halle, Halle, Halleluja and Christ Has Risen

The second picture is the contents of a plastic bag stashed on the shelf. Items in the bag:

A German Dictionary

7 unused envelopes

The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis

pg 92 of UL1581 - Physical Properties of XLPO Insulations

The second page of sheet music for Were You There?

The third picture is the contents of a second bag stashed on the shelf. Items in this second bag:

A letter from Bremen Chevrolet

Praise Habit by David Crowder (I have actually been looking for this book so was delighted to have it appear.)

2 notebooks

A couple pads of unused sticky notes

Cleansing the Leper by Bob Swank

2 one dollar bills

1 glove

Okay, now I'm actually laughing out loud at this random compilation.

This really leaves me with the question: Is this deficiency in organization a curse... or a blessing?

Out.

Gifts

Tonight, at student ministry, we did a little activity. Each person had a gift envelope filled with phrases describing gifts falling into four categories: leadership, service, teaching, and encouragement. Each person picked the statement that best described him or her. Then each person taped descriptions onto other people. After everyone was done taping, we sat down for a discussion. However, there was a little twist to the activity. The phrases were color-coded according to the four categories. One of the students realized that we each had a color that was more common. It was pretty cool to read through the descriptions and realize how accurately we had identified the gifts of each person in the room. This led to a really interesting discussion and each person had insights to share. One student shared challenges that she encounters because of her gift. One thing that really stood out to me was how we identified the gifts of others. Isn't it weird that others can sometimes see our gifts - maybe even more than we can see the gifts in ourselves? Isn't it crazy that each of us has a gift - a gift to share with other people? What an amazing responsibility. This kind blows my mind.

1 Peter 7-11, MSG: Everything in the world is about to be wrapped up, so take nothing for granted. Stay wide-awake in prayer. Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything. Be quick to give a meal to the hungry, a bed to the homeless—cheerfully. Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it: if words, let it be God's words; if help, let it be God's hearty help. That way, God's bright presence will be evident in everything through Jesus, and he'll get all the credit as the One mighty in everything—encores to the end of time. Oh, yes!

Intrinsic Motivation

This semester, I took accounting and economics at Bethel. I have always really enjoyed school. However, this semester, more than ever, I experienced intrinsic motivation or "motivation associated activities that are there own reward." In other words, the freedom to just learn for the sake of learning pervaded my experience in these two classes. Economics helped me to think more about how and why we make decisions. Accounting was like solving these cool puzzles that also happened to be quite practical - like developing a mortgage amortization schedule or calculating present and future values of money. Tonight, though, my professor said something that just really took me by surprise. After turning in the final, he handed me my last homework assignment and held out his hand. I thought that was kind of strange, but I shook his hand. He said, "In all my years of teaching, you were by far the best student I have ever had." What? That just floored me. However, some things really started to make sense to me. I like school. I like learning. I like being a student. The cool thing is that it isn't even about grades anymore - it is about learning. Is it possible to be a professional student? That would be amazing.

An Evening Journey

Well, tonight I did something a little bit unusual (at least for me)...

As I opened the door of the car, the sharp air took my breath away. I started on my way. Soon, I turned the corner and looked up. Before me, through the flurries and amidst the sounds of the carillon, stood the Golden Dome. To its left stood the Basilica of the Sacred Heart. My pace quickened in anticipation of the the warmth inside. I climbed the steps and opened the door to find a church filled with people. A few seats remained in the left section of pews. I sat down, and a moment later, the organ filled the cavernous structure. Voices sang out, "Rejoice, rejoice, believers, and let your lights appear." The procession rounded the corner in front of me and soon the pungent odor of incense filled the air.

The Feast of Lessons and Carols was a beautifully solemn experience anticipating the coming of our Lord. This year, more than ever, has proven, thus far, to be difficult to find a few moments to contemplate the coming of Christ. Tonight, however, provided an opportunity, amidst the hustle and bustle and uncertain times, to think about Jesus. As the incense permeated the air, I thought about Jesus permeating our lives offering this amazing connection, this link, between Earth and Heaven.

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Justin shared this link to Advent Conspiracy. Check it out.

Glory to God in the Highest

Okay, I want to be honest about something tonight. I have been going, going, going for days, weeks. Sometimes, I feel like the game Atari Pong. We still had my dad's game when we were younger. My brother and I would play it on the old TV in our upstairs bedroom. My favorite part of the game was when the Pong block would get "stuck" and just go back and forth horizontally. That is what it has kind of felt like lately with work, school, church, and trips to Oswego. So honestly, Holy Walk this year seemed kind of like another thing on the calendar.

Holy Walk is this great event in Bremen that has been around for 28 years. In fact, my parents were involved in organizing the original Holy Walk and it was at our farm. It is a journey to Bethlehem and includes encounters with Mary and Joseph, shepherds, angels, the innkeeper at the inn, the merchants in the village, Jesus in the manger, and the wise men.

With some reluctance, I donned the angel garb and headed out in the cold with my trumpet and halo. The amazing thing is that it was so worth it. The "heavenly hosts" had a riotous time telling stories, laughing, eating. Several groups had passed by and then this special group came up to visit the shepherds.

Upon observing the signal, I did the little trumpet fanfare and exclaimed:

"Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." (Luke 2:10-12, ESV)

As I said, "Fear not," every person, EVERY PERSON, kneeled. Now typically, the shepherds will kneel and maybe a few kids, but in this group, every person kneeled.

Then, the rest of the angels sang,

"Glory to God in the Highest,
Peace on Earth,
Goodwill,
Toward men."

Wow.

Seeing those folks kneeling, hearing the angels singing, I thought about worship, about Heaven and Earth touching, about praising God.

Glory to God in the Highest!

Monday

Okay, I realize tonight is Wednesday night already. However, I'd like to back track to Monday for a few moments to record two events for posterity.

Monday morning, I headed into the weight room just like any other Monday morning. After lifting for awhile, I started cardio on the stationary bike. Usually, I just stay on one machine, but for some reason, the treadmill looked enticing. (I had some negative vibes to sweat out and the bike just wasn't getting it done.) So I cranked that thing up to 9.5-10 mph and got in a quick mile and then was ready to head to the stepper. I backed the speed down and then pressed "stop." The machine continued to slow down and I thought it was slow enough to step off.

Uh, yeah, about that.

It wasn't.

The floor felt kind of hard after flying off the machine.

In the past, I would have been pretty mortified by this little situation. However, I just got up and head over to the stepper. It was kind of comical really.

Fast forward to Monday night after class. I was heading south from campus and it was sleeting. I was droving slow because of the slippery road. However, despite the caution, the headlights from the car behind me were not reflecting in the rearview mirror. No, they were shining right into my eyes. In an instant, my car had rotated 180 degrees and was still in the correct lane. So I checked the other lane, turned the car around, and headed on my merry shook up way.

These two events were pretty powerful reminders to me. I needed these events. They reminded me that some things are beyond our control, that life is fragile, that sometimes it is necessary to just get up and get going again, that sometimes it can feel like things are going in completely the wrong direction. However, the enemy - whether it be embarrassment, guilt, shame, even death - has been defeated.

We sang this great song from Hillsong last night...

The enemy has been defeated
And death couldn't hold You down
We're gonna lift our voice in victory
We're gonna make Your praises loud

Music

Music has been a part of my life ever since I can remember. As a youngster, I remember singing in the programs at church. Piano lessons started in 1st grade. Band started in 5th grade and extended all the way through college. I even took some piano in college. Now, I play keyboard in the worship band at church. However, this is extremely difficult for me. Why? Well, the music is not written out on the page. By this, I mean that all of my music background has involved reading the music - attempting to replicate the notes, rhythms, tempos, etc, that are written on the page. In fact, as students, we were graded on how close we "perfected" the sheet music. This past Friday, instead of replicating someone else's music, we (Trent, Ben, and I) created music with the dulcimer, guitar, and keyboard. No sheet music. No plan. We just played. I don't know about the other guys, but this was really amazing for me. I felt free.

I think that there is much more to this experience. The parallels to both life and church seem quite striking. Do any of you ever feel that your life is somehow trying to be scripted by our culture? I do. There is the right type of haircut, the right job, the right car, the right clothes. However, what happens when we are free to create the music and not let the sheet music create us?

I think this is similar to the church, too. So much of contemporary Christianity seems scripted, religious, just going through the motions. Honestly, that is what it seems like for me right now. Yet, last night I was reading about this amazing Jesus - the Revolutionary. The Jesus who deliberately healed on the Sabbath, who defied traditions, who ate food with unwashed hands, who healed with spittle and clay - in direct defiance of Jewish law. (see Pagan Christianity) To continue on with the analogy, Jesus created his own music - a song filled with freedom, spontaneity, and joy.

What would it be like to be a part of this music - to be at the "center of the beating heart of God?"

Right now, I don't know.

However, I long for this.